I grew up with a lake in my backyard and had my first cane pole by the time I was five. When I was nine, I got my first rod and reel.
Right after I got it, I decided I was going to catch my first Northern. So I took a red and white striped daredevil out of dad’s tackle box and tied it onto my line.
I wasn’t big enough to cast very far. My daredevil landed in the water five yards out – at most. My dad had told me I’d never catch a Northern because they don’t swim in shallow waters.
I didn’t care. I kept casting and reeling.
And then I got a hit. And WHAT a hit it was!
I jerked my pole to set the hook just like my dad did and started reeling as fast as I could. My pole was bending in a deep arc and I was having a hard time hanging on. So I stopped reeling and tried to pull the fish in like I was using a cane pole.
I started yelling, “Daddy! Daddy! Help! Help!”
Dad came running out the house and down to the water, yelling “Hang on, Teresa! Hang on!”
Then he was behind me, helping me reel the fish in. I caught a 5-6 lb. NORTHERN!
I was SO excited!
We put my northern in the “fish box” Dad had built until he could clean it. This “fish box” was like an underwater cedar chest with a hinged wooden lid and four sides made of mesh screen so the water could flow through. It was built into the end of a small dock.
All afternoon, I kept going to the fish box and opening the lid to look at MY northern. That’s when I noticed the PROBLEM.
You see, the water level in the lake that year was unusually high – almost to the top of the fish box. And when speedboats would go by, their waves hitting the shore would have the lid of the fish box start to open. For the rest of the afternoon, whenever a boat went by, I would run to the fish box and stand on the lid so my northern didn’t escape.
Later that afternoon, Dad told me to go help mom set the table and then we’d clean my fish. But I was afraid to go inside. “What if a boat goes by and my fish gets out?”
I told Dad what was happening and asked him if we would stand on the fish box cover if a boat went by. He said he would – so off I went to set the table.
When I was done, I raced back to the lake. Dad was on his knees, leaning over the edge of the water, fish net in hand. The lid to the fish box was OPEN!
I saw my Northern in the shallow water just before Dad swooped with the net to catch him. He missed and, in a flash, my Northern was gone!
Dad turned to me. “I’m so sorry Teresa. A boat went by but I didn’t think anything would happen. So I didn’t stand on the fish box. And then the cover opened and your fish got out and I tried to catch him with the net.”
I BURST into tears. Tears of sadness, frustration and, although I couldn’t admit it, ANGER.
My northern was gone. Even worse, dad had betrayed me. He promised me he would take care of my fish and he DIDN’T.
I remember clearly the decision I made to myself that day...
“I can’t trust anyone. I have to do things myself. If I don’t, something bad will happen and I’m going to get hurt.”
I share this with you now because this is what happens for so many of us. We stop trusting. We try to protect ourselves from something going wrong and from getting hurt. So we go into “control mode” – trying to control everything (and everyone) – to be the one who is in change, handles everything, and doesn’t ask for or receive help. This includes with
money.
If you’re in my tribe, I know you can relate.
The thing we hate more than anything is feeling like we’re out of control – because we do not want to feel powerless, inadequate, scared, and vulnerable. We don’t want to feel disappointed, let down, betrayed.
But all of our efforts to CONTROL ourselves, others, outcomes, and even GOD create unnecessary struggle and scarcity in our lives – including with money – because it’s all in reaction to FEAR.
If I planted a tomato seed in my garden, a tomato is what would grow. There is no way I would expect a TOMATO seed to grow into a CUCUMBER.
It’s the same thing with our fears and attempts to control. It only creates more FEAR.
And living in fear – even when we pretend we’re not – is NOT living in abundance.
The GOOD NEWS is that there is another way – a way that will allow us to relax and experience more peace and joy, flow and ease. AND abundance – including with money.
It’s this OTHER WAY that I will share with you in my next email. And as funny as my “blue as a troll” story was the other day, I think this one is EVEN FUNNIER!
Because this one is about GOD’s joke on ME… and both God and I are laughing uproariously!
Until then, , I invite you to ponder what I’ve shared with you and begin to pay attention to when your “impulse to control” kicks in. When you are trying to do it all yourself because you’re afraid to completely trust someone else - because you’re afraid to trust yourself, the process of Life and even God.
Just observe it and see if you can get in touch with what the underlying fear is. Because recognizing and claiming it is the first step in releasing it. It’s the first step in releasing the unnecessary scarcity and struggle it’s creating in your finances and your life.
So you can begin to TRUST IN and experience peace, joy and abundance….
So you can become the fullest expression of the unique YOU that you were created to be.
Because, , that's ultimately what your life is all about!
And, if you want, please let me know what you come up with. And if I can support you, please let me know - that’s what I’m here for.
Blessings on your day!