When I was in high school, I desperately wanted to be one of the “cool kids”. In the summer of 1978, I thought I had found a way.
It was the summer that the movie Grease was released. Not only was the movie a smashing success, so was the soundtrack.
My “ticket” to COOL was to be the first in my class to know the words to every song on that soundtrack. The fact that the lyrics weren’t on the jacket cover didn’t faze me in the least.
Day after day, night after night, I would listen to the soundtrack in my bedroom and write down the lyrics. Then I would sing them over and over again until I had them completely memorized.
All went without a hitch except for the song, “You’re the One that I Want”.
I started listening and writing down the words – until I got to a line that completely baffled me. So I listened again.
I kept hearing the same thing – and what I was hearing didn’t make sense. It was downright WEIRD.
So I listened again. And again and again and again (x 0). EVERY TIME, I heard the same thing.
I didn’t understand WHY they were singing those words, but I was crystal-clear it WAS what they were singing.
So… all through high school, college and into my 30s and 40s, here’s what I sang whenever that song was playing.
“I got chills, they’re multiplying…
And I’m BLUE as a TROLL…”
It’s okay, , you can laugh. :-)
(It’s even funnier when you hear me singing it like I did in high school so I recorded it here.)
Fast forward to 10 years ago and I’m giving a workshop in St. Paul. I wanted some fun, upbeat music to play during a break, so I put on Grease.
When it got to this song, it was as if my ears were suddenly opened. For the first time in my life, I heard what they were REALLY singing.
“I got chills, they’re multiplying…
And I’M LOSING CONTROL…”
Right there, in the midst of the workshop, I started laughing so hard tears were streaming down my face! When everyone looked at me with quizzical expressions on their faces, I managed to GASP out the story.
I still laugh today because it was such a MIRROR moment of truth for me.
You see, , when I was in high school (and in my 20s, 30s, and early 40s), I couldn’t even HEAR the words “losing control”.
Even after listening to that particular line 30 or more times, I simply COULDN’T HEAR it. Those words “losing control” would NOT compute in my mind because I was ALL about being in control – or at least trying to be.
I share this with you today because if you’re in my tribe, you can relate – especially when it comes to money. So much of what we do around money is about wanting to be in control and not feel powerless, inadequate, scared, and vulnerable. Even when we are out of control, we try to control our feelings and what people will think by pretending to be handling things. In other words, we act like we’re “in control”.
The idea of being out of control – especially around money – terrifies the crap out of us. (You actually do become “blue as a troll” because you stop breathing at the very thought of it!)
Are you with me?
What we don't realize is that all of our attempts to be in control actually limit and block our ability to access and experience abundance!
Why this is and what we do about it is what I will begin to address with you in my next email.
Until then, I invite you to check in with yourself.
- What comes up for you at the idea of losing control – especially around money?
- What are the strategies and tactics you have for staying in control (or acting like you are) – even if all of your efforts to do so aren’t really working all that well?
- What are you most afraid will happen if you let go of control?
And if just reading these questions had you stop breathing, please take a breath right now.
I don’t want YOU to turn BLUE as a troll too! LOL!
Let me know what you come up with… AND if I can support you because that’s what I’m here for.
xoxo